January 2012
drunkishmom: i am hiding in a closet because i do not want to have to chug whiskey i wonder if anything in here is flammable x)
Jan 1st
Operator: 911, please hold.
Me: Stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
Murderer: ok
Jan 1st
166,532 notes
Jan 1st
12 notes
Jan 1st
13,167 notes
Jan 1st
37,633 notes
Jan 1st
18,481 notes
Jan 1st
153 notes
Jan 1st
749 notes
Jan 1st
421 notes
Jan 1st
116 notes
I have a dirty mind, but an innocent face.
Jan 1st
35,053 notes
Jan 1st
9,359 notes
drunkishmom: i’m really drunk at my neighbors house watching some shit about armageddon  $20 says i’ll be walking around yelling “armageddon’s coming” by the end of the night
Jan 1st
When you wear as much eyeliner as I do. Crying...
Jan 1st
Jan 1st
48 notes
drunkishmom: they’re trying to convince me to do their beer bong or fucking chug whiskey i weigh 110 pounds and i’m already drunk this isn’t happening niggas
Jan 1st
Jan 1st
8,886 notes
Jan 1st
1,319 notes
Jan 1st
10,012 notes
Jan 1st
9,010 notes
Jan 1st
324 notes
December 2011
Dec 31st
898 notes
Dec 31st
221,702 notes
Dec 31st
18,549 notes
Dec 31st
8,038 notes
Dec 31st
1,746 notes
Dec 31st
1,432 notes
stormcloud: i don’t care how big or small ur wiener is. what im really attracted to is the wiener inside u. ur heart wiener.
Dec 31st
6,964 notes
Dec 31st
7,766 notes
Dec 31st
1,166 notes
Dec 31st
25,369 notes
Dec 31st
527 notes
Dec 31st
308 notes
Dec 31st
1,669 notes
Dec 31st
277 notes
Dec 31st
116,683 notes
Dec 31st
46,244 notes
Dec 31st
16 notes
Dec 31st
157,324 notes
Dec 31st
139,505 notes
Dec 31st
1,186 notes
Dec 31st
48,968 notes
Dec 31st
74 notes
Dec 31st
32,635 notes
Dec 31st
1,325 notes
Dec 31st
121,780 notes
Dec 31st
48,891 notes
Dec 31st
9 notes
3rd grade
friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
me: what
friend: OH MAN
OH
OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
Dec 31st
117,812 notes
Dec 31st
161 notes